Round up: 24th November

This man is very excited to read this weeks weird news round up.

Welcome once again fans to the JC/DC Weird news round up. Happily, this week we appear to have no major deaths to report. Hurrah! So this week we can get straight into the strange news stories from the all over the globe.


Despite the freedom to have an entire weeks news without a single death related story, we instead start with the story of someone mentioned in last weeks round up - Sir Jimmy Saville.


Just over a week ago, Sir Jimmy's funeral was held at Leeds Cathedral, before he was buried in Woodlands Cemetery, Scarborough. At the former DJ and presenter's request, his coffin was buried feet down at a 45 degree angle, facing the waves and beaches of the popular seaside resort.


 He was buried in the this unique manner to "enable him to see the sea" said funeral director, Robert Morphet.

Mourning fans look on as Sir Jimmy Saville's Golden Casket is carried out of Leeds Cathedral following his funeral.

As if that wasn't strange enough though, his gold coloured coffin was then encased in concrete, not to protect the world from Zombie Saville, but for security reasons after the media spread incorrect rumours about the coffin and its contents. It was believed by many that Sir Jimmy was to be buried with some of his much loved jewellery.


When asked about the use of concrete in Saville's burial, Mr Morphet responded: "People may decide there is something of value but it was a steel-casket sprayed gold and I can confirm there was nothing of any value there. He was wearing his medal that he got from the marines, his cigars and his beret."

Sir Jimmy was laid to rest on the 10th November 2011 following a 3 day celebration of his life.

If you are American, perhaps everything
in this picture could soon be a vegetable...

In a story that sounds more like fat joke than reality, this week the U.S. Congress passed a bill that effectively labels pizza as a vegetable.

Yes that's right, the country which brought you 'Supersizing', 'cheese in a can' and 'the bacontini', where weighing 20st is considered a little on the thin side and buying a whole cow is cheaper than a salad, has now passed a law that means this traditional Italian meal, is now classed as a vegetable in terms of its nutritional content. That is despite the fact a standard pizza contains absolutely no vegetables (Tomato is a FRUIT America).

And no, this isn't referring to a specifically designed pizza loaded with vegetable toppings, or some kind of bizarre GM bread, cheese and tomato product. This is ANY pizza.

It comes following a movement by the USDA to force schools to either include more tomato sauce on their pizzas, or to stop pizzas being labelled as a vegetable portion.

However, the U.S. Congress blocked the proposals, which would have also reduced the amount of sodium in food served to children and cut the amount of potatoes served with a meal.

So now, on top of the Pharmaceuticals, Oil, and Tobacco companies, we can now add the Food and Agricultural companies to the list of organisations that control the U.S. government with money. And free pizza.

I don't think this is what was expected when
they said 'Javelins' may be at the Olympics

Back in the U.K, we find that the government is planning to protect the London 2012 Olympic games with Ground-to-air missiles.

As part of a wider security plan, including using troops to protect some of the venues, the Defence Secretary, Philip Hammond, has announced that if deemed necessary, ground-to-air missiles will be available during the 2012 games. Under what circumstances the missile defence system would be deployed wasn't specified.

The entire security plan has had to been strengthened following the unrest during the riots at the end of this years summer. Although, it has to be said I didn't see many people using, planes, helicopters, blimps, or any other form of aviatory transport to steal rice from Tesco.

Mr Larry declined to comment on the short-comings in his duty.

Finally, it seems no one is safe from criticism in No. 10, after a series of failures in duty led many to call for the resignation of an important member of the Prime Ministers household - Larry the cat.


Questions were first raised over Larry's competence when mice and rats started appearing outside No. 10. Then a mouse was seen during a meeting inside the house - clearly a step to far.

However, despite people asking if he was going to resign or be replaced, the Mr Cameron has confirmed he fully backs the cat, saying "he's a good mouser.", and he's "doing well" in his new home.

Oh and anyone angered by this incompetent public sector employee will be pleased to know that Larry is funded purely from the Prime Minister's pocket, not the taxpayer's - although it remains to be seen if Larry is included on Mr Cameron's expenses.